An Outlaw Valentine Playlist

Dear Beautiful People,


 I always listen to a vast array of songs as I write my stories. The playlist for An Outlaw Valentine has 50 songs. Some you may agree with and like. Others you may wonder just what the hell I was thinking when I chose the song. But each song I included in this playlist has a meaning to the story as a whole or to an individual character. We Are Family starts the playlist off because, no matter what the Death Dwellers go through, in the end, they are family and they stick together. Truffle Butter was chosen because...well, if you know what it is, once you read the story, I'm sure you'll figure it out. ;-) :-) That's What Friends Are For might have a double meaning. Sometimes, with certain friends, who needs enemies? Then, of course, there are the standards that I include in almost every Death Dweller playlist: Sex on Fire by Kings of Leons, for instance. I hope you enjoy the playlist. Let me know what songs you think are fitting and which songs don't seem to fit!



 



 Here is the playlist link so you can follow An Outlaw Valentine on Spotify. An Outlaw Valentine Playlist

Robert Moore Interviews Me

Dear Beautiful People,


 As always, I want to thank you for the well wishes for me and my mother. She is getting over her pneumonia and she says 'hi' to everyone. I'm writing away on Inflame, Kiln's book, (Phoenix Rising #3). Meanwhile, I was invited to do an interview for a podcast with the International Writers Association. Robert Moore, the host of the podcast, put me instantly at ease. It was a lot of fun and I can't thank him enough for inviting me.



 If you have time to listen, click the player below.


Robert Moore is an author, one of the founders of Moore Writing Publications, and Vice President and Media Coordinator for the International Writers Association. The IWA's mission is to encourage and support writers through all stages of their career.

For more information about Robert or the IWA, please click below.

Robert Moore

International Writers Association

Read the story. Choose an Answer. Enter to win a code for Misled Audiobook.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who had a 2014 Mazda 2. Now, if you know anything about these little motherfuckers, you know there’s only one outside lock AND the lock/unlock buttons are situated on the middle console. These little cars are adorable, made for the girl in question. It’s small and eye-catching. And red, the girl’s favorite color. It’s little but badass and packs one helluva punch.

One night, the girl’s mother received a call.

Licensed from Adobestock.com

Bl-riiiinnnggg.

“Hello?”

“Mama?”

“Yeah?”

“I locked my keys in the car.”

The girl’s mama groaned, partly annoyed and kinda amused. Mama had told the girl to get a spare key AND to stop leaving her keys in the glove compartment.

OR ELSE…..DISASTER!

As predicted, just what the fuck the girl’s mama said would happen, did.

Sooo, Mama dragged her fucking ass downstairs and found the girl and her friends with a lockout kit. EXCEPT…No one knew how to use the motherfucker.

Defeated, the girl and her friends went up to her bedroom. Mama had already left, after begging the girl to let her try with her trust hairpin and screwdriver. The girl vehemently denied her mother, afraid Mama would fuck up the car in some shape or form.

About half an hour after the keys were locked in, Mama’s phone rang again.

Bl-riiiinnnggg.

“Mama?”

“Uh-huh?”

“You can try your way.”

Pleased, Mama jumped up, cell phone in hand. “Okay. I’m on it.”

Mama’s tried and true method for picking locks were screw drivers and hairpins. Now, see, Mama had picked various locks in her house. She didn’t use her skill for anything illegal. She’d learned how to engage the tumbler with her weapon of choice to break into bedrooms, bathrooms, the a/c closet, and safes that no longer had keys.

Mama and one of the girl’s younger sisters brought their fucking asses out into the hot humid night, around 10:00PM. For fifteen minutes, Mama tried her method. It was hotter than a motherfucker and she was growing frustrated. When she broke into the safe, it took her an hour, but she was inside, not in such a high-pressure situation. Here and now, neither hairpin or screw driver worked. Mama stopped and Googled how to break into a car without keys. A wire hanger was suggested, so Dumb Ass AKA Mama sent the girl’s younger sister inside for a wire hanger. Another fifteen minutes of alternating between hanger, screw driver, and hairpin commenced. Sometimes, Mama used all three at once.

In the meantime, Mama was so frustrated the car was no longer named Quinn. It was now known as Motherfucking Pain in the Fucking Ass Miserable Little Motherfucker with a Fucked-up Design.

Cars sped by. Eventually, one slowed down and paused right across the street, the driver intently staring. The girl’s younger sister started to get nervous.

“Ma, what if the police are called?”

“I hope those motherfuckers are called,” Dumb Ass…I mean Mama, yelled, jiggling the screwdriver furiously. “We’d get some fucking help!”

“Maybe, they’d shoot us.”

“Oh, fucking, please. They wouldn’t shoot us. Why the fuck would we be making all this goddamn noise if we’re trying to break into this motherfucker? Let the police come! Please, Jesus, send the police.”

So saying, the girl’s sister and Mama started to plot, wondering if the girl’s sister should go inside and call 911 and say someone was breaking into her sister’s car because, clearly, Mama was in distress and the girl’s sister was scared and desperate.

Before Mama could knock down that idea, the girl’s sister said, “Could we get into trouble for that?”

“Fuck yeah!” Mama snarled. “Fuck it. We’ll do this ourselves. If the police come, then we can get help.”

Mama decided to use the lockout kit. For the next 90 minutes, Mama struggled with the screw driver, hairpin, wire hanger, and lockout kit.

“Mama, it’s starting to rain,” the girl’s younger sister said, pointing to huge drops of water on the car door.

“No, it isn’t about to fucking rain. My ass is sweating that fucking much.” That’s how intense Mama’s labor was.

The struggle continued.

The girl’s sister who’d been keeping Mama company, grew tired. She shoved Mama’s cell phone they’d been using as a flashlight, to Mama. “Mama, can I sit on the hood of your car.”

Mama shrugged from her stooped position, attempting to situate the much- needed flashlight and her weapon of choice at that moment. “Sure. Go for it.”

Between wiping the sweat from her brow, cursing the little motherfucking car, hoping a neighbor called the police (after all, to the naked eye, it should appear as if an attempt at Grand Theft Auto was taking place), Mama stood. She stared at the lock on the door as if the motherfucker would magically open. Or she could will it to fucking open. Or a motherfucking genie would appear and open the motherfucker.

No such luck!

The girl’s sister began her journey to the hood of Mama’s car.

Mama soon became aware that the girl’s sister was having problems.

She couldn’t seem to make it to the hood.

Bounce.

Hop.

Roll over. Clutch the hood and hold on for dear life while bracing her foot above the wheel well.

Slide down.

Repeat.

Climb the wheel well.

Bounce.

Hop.

Slide.

Roll over.

Clutch.

Brace.

Lose her balance and almost fuck herself up.

Repeat.

Turn.

Attempt to jump.

Land on her feet.

Roll over.

Repeat all of the above steps.

It was official. TWO dumb asses populated the earth.

After watching this, Mama said as casually as possible, “Problems?”

The girl’s sister glared at her. “I’m going inside!” she blared. “I’m tired.”

Mama was left alone.

Now, Mama isn’t fucking fond of the fucking dark. She’s a wuss. A chicken. A wimp. A pussy. And you know what? She’s damn proud of it!

Alone in the dark night, Mama became aware of every little sound. One of her biggest fear is snakes. They are known to inhabit the area. She imagined snakes slithering. Salamanders darting about. Frogs hopping. And winged creatures swooping down to eat her alive.

Something moved in the grass!

Mama dropped her shit, sprang to the back bumper of the car, and peeped around. Finding no danger beyond her overactive imagination, Mama tipped back to the door and went back to work.

Meanwhile, the girl’s sister came out again about ten minutes later, holding the keys to Mama’s car.

“I’m sitting inside the car while you open the door.”

Oh yeah, this was about a fucking locked door, huh?

Offering a single nod, Mama swore never to tell a soul of her nightmarish ordeal of hearing slithers in the grass.

An hour passed. The screwdriver became stuck in the lock. Then the hairpin.

Mama looked on YouTube and found a video on how to unlock a Mazda 2. It lasted about one minute and thirty-four seconds. The man in the video used something that mama couldn’t fucking see and what looked like a nail file and…..TADA….opened the door like a pro. Well, it turned out he WAS a pro. He was a fucking LOCKSMITH. If he didn’t know how to fucking open that door, he needed to go sit the fuck down somewhere.

Back to YouTube. Mama found out how to use the pump in the lockout kit to pry open the door.

Finally, a modicum of success! The door was pried open. Mama and the girl’s sister alternated between trying to reach the unlock/lock button in the middle console with the long rod (that had been nice and curved but was bent and twisted and kinda straightened) and going for the manual lock and handle on the upper door.

The rod was too short to open and they couldn’t maneuver the rod to the manual lock. They did reach the handle and managed to pull it open with the rod, but since the manual lock was still in the lock position, NOTHING happened.

Frustrated to fuck, Mama tried to get to the lock, but kept reaching the fucking handle instead.

Suddenly….SUDDENLY…it happened. A car drove up and two guys got out. Without hesitation, they headed in Mama’s direction.

The cavalry! Saviors! Rescuers!

After fifteen fucking minutes, they decided it might be easier to go through the passenger side and open the glove compartment to fish out her keys. Mama pumped up the door again. It took the rescuers (who Mama was sure were the next door neighbor’s son and his friend) all of ten minutes to finesse (their word) the door open. Another five had the glove compartment open. Another five minutes and the keys had been fished out.

HALLELEJAH!

The ordeal was over.

Mama took the key and ran to the driver’s side door to open it.

Wouldn’t you know it? The motherfucker didn’t work.

Mama had fucked up the door.

The End

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Correct answer will be revealed on 6/18/2017

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Lost in Audio

Dear Beautiful People,

I won't take too much of your time. I'm just so excited that Misled is finally out in audio. For me, my journey began at the beginning of the year. I've flip-flopped for months, YEARS, about whether I should have the Death Dwellers made into audiobooks. You guys kept asking, though, so I couldn't continue to ignore the requests. With an extra nudge from a friend who messaged me and said she'd really love to see Misled on audio, I finally did what I needed to do.

I think my hesitancy stemmed from not knowing if a narrator would want to produce the subject matter. Memories of Misled being removed a couple of days after it first went on sale in 2013 follow me. It has left me a little guarded.

However, I live by the creed if you don't ask, you don't know, AND if you try and fail, at least you've tried. Therefore, I sucked in my reservations and started the process.

I used my amazon account to sign in to ACX.com, the site akin to KDP, only for audio. Listing the book took 20 minutes, tops. You do a search on Amazon for the book in question. Once you find your title, a screen pops up and gives your 3 options. Of course, I chose the I'm looking for someone to narrate option. That meant, I had to put my book up for audition. There are a few more steps, including uploading an audition script, then the full manuscript, and a cover. Within a day, I'd gotten a response. I was as excited then as I am now. I chose the royalty share option, which splits all royalties 50/50 with one narrator.

You might be wondering why I'm speaking of the business side of the process. First of all, because I'm excited. Second, there may be authors out there who want to have their books turned into an audiobook. Third, there may be someone who would like to become a narrator. ACX.com is the place to go.

WOW! Misled is on audio! I can't stop smiling. Even if I am totally and completely lost. LOL. Promoting an audiobook is almost the same as doing the same for an ebook or print book. Right? Not  so fast. Audiobooks aren't for everyone. On the other hand, in this fast-paced, crazy world we live in, the audiobook market is a growing one. What better way to reap the benefits of a good book? We can listen to the words while we perform other tasks.

Watch the video for a small sample of the audiobook.

For a longer sample, go to Soundcloud. Misled Audio Book Sample


My wonderful narrator is Sam Valor. I will post an interview with him, at a later date. He narrated all of Misled well within the deadline. Then, ACX.com took over and performed quality checks. I spent all of last week trying to figure out how to mix music and clips of the book for a trailer. It took my DAYS to figure it out. Now, I'm thinking of creating one or two more with different clips. I chose what I did because Outlaw meeting Meggie was a pivotal moment. My journey marches on. Today, I received codes to give out as promotion tools or for review copies. I signed up to the ACX Blog. Best of all, Misappropriate is well on the way of Audiobook Land.

Misled has its own 30-Day Free trial page, If you would like your FREE copy, click here --> FREE Misled Audiobook

Maybe, I'm not so lost, after all.

Love always,

Kat


Already a member of audible.com? Get your copy of Misled here!
Prefer to purchase on Amazon? Click: Misled Audio Book.

Audio Book Trailer for Misled by Kathryn Kelly

The audio book for Misled is HERE!!!!

Receive a FREE copy with a 30 day trial membership to Audible.com!!!

Click this link to get started: Misled Audio Book