There wasn't a month that went by when I didn't think about Reckless. There were many days I didn't because my head was too crowded with other issues. I continued writing and was in several anthologies from Andrea Miles Rhoads and Elizabeth Knox. My submission was accepted to be a part of the Cocky Hero Club. My book was to be based on Stuck-Up Suit by Vi Keeland and Penelope Ward. I was ecstatic. But my illnesses and my concern for my family, whom I love dearly, repeatedly interfered. Then, late last August, I finished Savage Suit. Somehow, I finished my first full-length novel since 2019.
It was a moment I will never forget. I cried. After all the lows and the tears and the prayers and the fear, it was finished. And I am very proud of that book but for the first time, I was proudest of myself. Yet, there was still the elephant in the room that stole some of my joy: Reckless.
I started the story long before I was accepted into any of the aforementioned projects. And it wasn't finished. My despair returned and I fell into a deep depression. It only deepened when I saw that updating the original series was stalled.
I updated Misled and Misappropriate and then stopped because of some of the other personal and writing obligations. I considered laying down my pen.
Misled came out in 2013 and the industry has changed so much. I told myself if I didn't budget for marketing, why bother releasing the book. However, I made a promise to y'all. And I couldn't leave you hanging OR my characters. I worked from October to December on rewrites. In January, I set up preorders with the intention to release on May 3rd. I told myself I had enough time to complete the book I envisioned, do justice to the series, and make it worth everyone's wait. I begged Christopher to talk to me. I prayed.
Then, I had the hemorrhoidectomy and I thought I would never sit down again. My laptop is old and wouldn't update. It kept freezing on me, so I HAD to sit at my desk. The book grew. Savage Suit was released. I listened to the audiobook and loved it.
The pain of the internal and external incisions was intense. My mother was barely able to walk because of back pain. Kate's depression became concerning. Food was low. I received a small shock at the breaker box.
I was exhausted.
I quit. I was going to release a statement saying I was retiring from writing. Yet, that was the easy way out. I love writing. I started my first novel at 12. Had I really fought all these years just to crawl away with my tail between my legs? I knew eventually I would have to write again. So I told myself, ain't nothin' but a thing. I have my family. We have a roof over our heads, a car to drive, and food on the table. I pushed the release of Reckless to May 31st. I watched Queen Charlotte. Twice. Alone and then with Kate. I prayed. And I told myself to get back to work. This was when I realized I had to split Reckless into two books. The decision reinvigorated me.
Suddenly, part one was done.
RECKLESS WAS FINISHED.
I stared at my screen and clapped and laughed and cried. It was after 3 in the morning but I called my mother. It was done. Even as I write this, tears are in my eyes. It was almost like the day I rang the bell in November 2016. And, today, Reckless is available to the world. I would love for it to be a smashing success. I wish it gets thousands of reviews. But I don't have marketing money and I still have so many personal obligations. I also have to finish Ruthless because I just can't wait for y'all to see how it all plays out.
To everyone out there, don't give up. Continue to fight and hope and dream and pray.
Thank you to everyone who never gave up on me, even during my darkest days. Thank you for never giving up on Reckless. Much love to each of you.
As much as I want Reckless to be a bestseller, its release represents so much more. Whether it sinks or swims or whether it's loved or hated, Reckless is my biggest triumph and, for me, that is everything.
